Fat Albert

Fat Albert is an indica-heavy hybrid with some serious bag appeal. A cross between Pacific Northwest-born Albert Walker and Afghani-descended Deep Chunk, this strain offers a relaxing full-body high as well as a pleasantly funky aroma Thanks to its deep physical effects, this is one strain best saved for a lazy, rainy day or evening. Its THC content has been measured at between 15% and 22%.

Fat Albert is distinguished by medium to large nuggets that maintain an irregular, chunky shape. The buds have a dense indica-type structure, with leaves that curl tightly inward together. The leaves themselves are a dark olive green and are set off by vibrant orange hairs and a high volume of milky white trichomes, accounting for the bud’s high psychoactivity.

When properly cured, flowers of Fat Albert give off a sour-sweet citrus scent. The notes of orange are undercut by a more dank, woodsy smell, redolent of pine and damp soil. Breaking open or grinding up the buds gives off a deep, hashy aroma, usually associated with grandparent strain Afghani. When combusted in a pipe or a joint, Fat Albert with an uncommonly smooth and easily palatable smoke. This smoke has a blended flavor of pine and citrus on the exhale.

Fat Albert’s high can be something of a creeper, taking between 10 and 15 minutes to reveal the scope of its relaxing effects. Eventually, smokers may notice some increased circulation around their temples, as well as a possible flushing in the cheeks. Once these odd sensations subside, though, consumers tend to notice some strange sensory distortions, including an amplification or intensification of certain sight and sounds and a strange feeling of time passing more slowly. Trippy effects like these can be enhanced with atmospheric media like a spacey soundtrack or a visually-engaging movie. Besides these psychedelic phenomena, though, Fat Albert tends to have little effect on its users’ mental processes. It’s more likely to induce daydreaming and distraction than any intense, cerebral concentration. The strain’s real draw is its enduring feeling of physical relaxation. As smokers savor its trippy properties, Fat Albert’s high blooms with progressively stronger layers of sedation that can relieve underlying muscular tension and allow for deep, restorative breathing. As the high wears on or as dosage is increased, this bud’s potent physical effects can become even stronger, leading to full-on couchlock in a sufficiently comfortable set and setting. As such, this bud is well-suited to passive activities like snacking and binge-watching. Fat Albert is also a great strain to enjoy with a small group of like-minded friends, whether you’re kicking back after work or just taking a long midday break. Because of its long-lasting body melt, Fat Albert is recommended for consumption between afternoon and evening; if you’re toking during daylight, it’s a good idea to clear your agenda for the next several hours.

Fat Albert also has some usefulness for medical cannabis patients. Its deep, almost narcotic relaxation can provide temporary relief from the harsh symptoms of stress, depression, anxiety, and even PTSD. The strain can also relieve physical pain, whether it’s chronic, as due to conditions like lupus or fibromyalgia, or less serious, as in cases of minor inflammation. In the right circumstances, this soothing bud can even lull insomniacs to sleep. Because it does not typically bring intense, cerebral energy, Fat Albert is a good choice for patients who are prone to panic or paranoia or who have a low tolerance for THC.

Seeds of Fat Albert are not available for sale online. Instead, home growers should obtain clippings from mature plants of the strain that can be fostered as identical “clones.” Fat Albert can be grown indoors or out, although successful outdoor cultivation calls for a semi-humid climate with daytime temperatures between 70 and 80 degrees Fahrenheit. The indica-inflected plants tend to grow short and bushy, and may require occasional pruning. Fat Albert flowers within 8 to 9 weeks when grown indoors.

Fat Albert is a slow and heavy strain that works well as a dessert-time treat. Use it to take the edge off — and not to find some energy or motivation.