Hippie Crippler

Hippie Crippler is a well-balanced hybrid that takes aim at one of its biggest traditional fanbases — but you don’t have to be a hippie to be stunned by the force of this bud’s distorted, psychedelic energy. Hippie Crippler is a cross between popular hybrid AK-47 and fruity sativa Blue Satellite. Although this strain’s dank, funky aroma is an acquired taste for some, it is worth sampling for its long-lasting, spacey high. Its THC levels have been measured at between 15% and 22%.

Flowers of Hippie Crippler are not particularly visually impressive, appearing only small to medium in size and clinging together in tight, popcorn-like clusters. The buds have a dense, indica-typical structure and the leaves are a light shade of spring green, filled with hairy brown pistils. Glassy amber trichomes cover the inner and outer surfaces and crevices of these flowers, accounting for their potency and giving them a slightly yellowish sheen.

What Hippie Crippler lacks in visual appeal, it makes up for with olfactory quality. Hippie Crippler’s aromatic profile is classically dank, cementing the strain’s association with hippie culture. When properly cured, these flowers have a strikingly acrid, earthy scent, similar to damp soil mixed with fermented compost. On closer inspection, there are also some spicy, incense-like odors; some consumers describe a whiff of that other hippie mainstay, patchouli. Meanwhile, grinding up the tight buds yields some peppery and piney notes. Despite its hashy flavors, Hippie Crippler gives off a surprisingly smooth and palatable smoke when burnt. This smoke has a hashy, piney taste on exhale, with a slightly fruity aftertaste.

The high from this strain takes effect quickly, causing smokers to feel spacey and altered. This bud’s ability to distort perception may become apparent within minutes, with certain sights and sounds taking on new dimensions and intensity. This trippy, disorienting sensation can be sustained with the consumption of atmospheric music or visually-engaging movies or TV. More experienced smokers may acclimate to Hippie Crippler’s dreamlike sensations to accomplish some basic tasks like cleaning the house or sorting emails, but others may find themselves down for the count. By and large, the force of the strain’s psychoactivity is likely to keep users indoors, amused by the company of likeminded friends — or by something as simple as a fidget spinner. As the high wears on or as dosage is increased, couchlock becomes increasingly likely, as does sudden sleep. Hippie Crippler is a great strain for social use, but can also be useful for unwinding alone after a long day or week of work. It’s also an ideal variety to save for a rainy day at home. Because of its sleepy, spacey vibes, Hippie Crippler is best consumer in circumstances that don’t demand productivity — namely, weekend, early evening, or bedtime use.

Hippie Crippler may have several applications for medical cannabis patients as well. Its sedative body stone can be an effective means of pain relief, for both temporary and chronic conditions. The bud’s anti-inflammatory properties can also take care of everyday irritations like headaches and nausea. Because it can blunt the stressors of the outside world, this strain may also temporarily take the edge off of some cases of stress, depression, and anxiety. Because it is not usually associated with intense, cerebral thinking or paranoia, Hippie Crippler may be a good choice for users who are prone to panic or who have a low THC tolerance.

With no seeds commercially available, home growers must rely on a trusted, reliable source in order to obtain clippings from healthy, mature plants of the strain; these clippings can be grown as genetically identical “clones.” Although there is little information readily available on best cultivation practices specific to this strain, we know that it can be grown indoors or outdoors in semi-humid, Mediterranean-like climates. Hippie Crippler’s indica-like characteristics suggest short plants that can be easily fostered indoors. Its apparent indica genes also imply a relatively short flowering time.

More likely to render you horizontal on your couch than out and about, Hippie Crippler is a great strain to keep on hand for mellow occasions. Be warned that it can be a very pungent smoke; those looking to keep their consumption under wraps should take any necessary precautions.